Ep 132. My Inner Voice Isn’t Talking to Me

00:00:00: because the voice inside your head is not necessarily talking to you and even if it's, its' not necessarily telling you.

00:00:11: The truth!

00:00:19: I recently noticed something really strange about my inner-voice Because...it turns out.. It does NOT talk TO ME.

00:00:29: It talks to other people.

00:00:33: First occurred to me when I was doing trust technique with my horse Maggie.

00:00:39: I was standing next her and in my mind whenever i got present, that's where usually your thinking stops...I started almost like writing down what I was observing And that is so strange, and then I started to observing my inner voice in other situations as well.

00:01:06: It turns out that i constantly am teaching other imaginary participants...I'm constantly creating courses..i'm constantly preparing podcasts for you....and literally in my mind of what I'm going to say, or share.

00:01:29: And yeah it's so funny even when i am alone!

00:01:33: My mind has an audience.

00:01:36: This really is interesting...I started asking myself why Am I doing that?

00:01:41: What Is my Mind trying To do ?

00:01:42: Is It Really Processing What Im Seeing Or Is it immediately converting everything I am observing, Everything i'm doing.

00:01:53: Everything I'm experiencing in something that's shareable with others?

00:01:59: And to be honest when I do the trust technique It is not really helpful When writing down my reports while getting present Because present state usually is where you are NOT thinking and yes...I can reach those moments but thoughts come up for me are usually talk tracks for others.

00:02:21: And that may be also explain why I love public speaking, i know so many people are afraid to stand on a stage in front of an audience and talk.

00:02:34: but to me maybe thats something im doing all day long anyway And I'm creating these podcasts for two and a half years just because that's what i'm doing constantly.I want to share,i am constantly sharing!

00:02:49: The audience is always there in my head.

00:02:53: it doesn't feel different from me being then in front of the actual audience instead of talking.

00:03:03: know, I have been speaking in front of people forever even when i was a child.

00:03:09: So it doesn't seem that because I am doing a lot of public-speaking this inner voice has turned into what it is...I think its the other way around!

00:03:19: I think my inner voice always talking to others and this why I love so much.

00:03:29: There are these occasions as well where my inner voice talks to myself.

00:03:36: And one example is that it says, oh you have just done a really smart thing here.

00:03:42: or it's as, oh Miss Chickensher this shows how intelligent she was.

00:03:47: when I do some stupid things and let them fall down whatever.

00:03:52: so its a tone that is ironic not cruel.

00:03:59: that humor creates a distance for me.

00:04:02: So it does not emotionally touch me while I'm telling myself, so iconic knowledge did something stupid without tearing my self down.

00:04:14: and another interesting thing is when i am angry with someone else...I really talk to them!

00:04:23: My inner voice then explaining in very minute detail of what they did wrong and how there are.

00:04:32: And, actually I do rehearse these conversations inwardly.

00:04:38: then the question is now?

00:04:39: Is this helping me process situation or just keeping argument alive?

00:04:47: That is something that I found out.

00:04:49: It does keep the argument alive because i'm running it over and over, and i'm rehearsing it.

00:04:54: And so in those situations I learned to just call me out on that and say stop it you don't do that.

00:05:03: Now the interesting thing about inner voices at that.

00:05:06: they have different structures.

00:05:08: when You start listening to your inner voices Sometimes you have one sometimes you have multiple.

00:05:16: Who's speaking?

00:05:18: I have found out that it's always me.

00:05:38: Who are they talking to?

00:05:40: Like in my case, They're not talking to me.

00:05:42: They're talking everyone else.

00:05:43: or My voice is talking to everyone else Not me Or very rarely To me.

00:05:49: And then the other thing Is what tone Are you using?

00:05:52: I just shared that.

00:05:53: Usually when i talk to others I use a very factual Voice and use a Very factual Tone.

00:06:00: That's explaining things Outlining things.

00:06:04: When i talk with myself It usually humorous and ironic.

00:06:08: But have a look at that, or listen to your voice.

00:06:11: What is the tone it's using?

00:06:14: And what are those voices trying to achieve?

00:06:21: Mine I think... is trying to achive.... Yeah!

00:06:25: That's an interesting question.

00:06:27: So what is this that i'm trying to acheive?

00:06:30: Maybe..I want share with others because I wanna be seen as expert If I am brutally honest and whats yours trying to achieve.

00:06:42: So yes, I'm teaching i'm rehearsing sometimes i'm criticizing especially others and it's also trying to protect me!

00:06:50: And sometimes my inner voice is also encouraging and processing what's going on.

00:07:00: a person I really admire has been my mentor for many years is Owen Fitzpatrick and he's about to write a book about inner voices.

00:07:10: And not only inner voices, this goes far beyond that.

00:07:14: it's called Inner Propaganda and there he describes how we persuade ourselves through inner propaganda... Through our inner stories that were selling to ourselves Not only telling to ourselves!

00:07:29: Those stories influence what we notice believe and how we interpret events.

00:07:38: This inner voice that I have in my head is really the one channel of that inner propaganda, he has written this book about.

00:07:45: it will be published on the fourth of August.

00:07:49: if you're reading anything this year i would highly recommend to read because i'm a hundred percent sure tools and details on how you can work with these inner voices, and work with your inner propagandist as Owen calls it.

00:08:16: Because the interesting thing is all of what we believe...all of what were telling ourselves isn't really true!

00:08:25: It does feel.

00:08:27: Maybe it only feels true because, It sounds familiar.

00:08:31: Because we have been telling ourselves the same story again and again.

00:08:37: And this is also something that I touch upon very often with my co-cheese... ...because a lot of time dad voice talking to them directly And it often says, you're not good enough and y'all will get this wrong.

00:08:53: You won't never get a new job or you'll embarrass yourself if you shouldn't do

00:08:58: that.".

00:09:00: Sometimes they sound like their own voices but oftentimes it also resembles parents such as the mother, father, grandparent... Or maybe even an older sibling teacher or a former boss, any other influential person.

00:09:24: And the interesting thing is that we can work with these voices.

00:09:30: so first of all figure out what exactly it's this voice saying?

00:09:36: What kind of words are they using and then also identify who assume it's us and in my case, It definitely is My voice.

00:09:50: But In so many other situations we have figured out that So many different people are talking in our heads And its really helpful when you identify who is talking to me?

00:10:01: Then You can notice their tone.

00:10:05: Is it like really amiable or is it rather accusing?

00:10:11: What the feeling do get When they're speaking?

00:10:15: And then, of course the speed because sometimes voices talk really quickly and sometimes they talk slowly and deliberately.

00:10:24: Then you look at the volume... Are they really loud?

00:10:27: Really resonating in your head?

00:10:29: It's a little tiny voice but a really nagging maybe voice that is there!

00:10:35: Also are their speech talking quick like you're in a hurry or are they rather laid down slow?

00:10:44: And also where are they and what is this voice coming from?

00:10:49: Is it coming from the right, above or behind.

00:10:55: How far away is that voice?

00:10:57: Mine's in my head because I'm a loudspeaker speaking out to everyone but so many situations its' coming on one side pretty close maybe farther away.

00:11:14: understand all these submodalities as they're called from a voice.

00:11:19: You can work with them, you can start modifying them...you can change the delivery of that voice and you can also change to words but sometimes this is not even necessary because once the position of your voice or you turn it louder, that already helps to make it less credible.

00:11:47: And this is not trying to replace what their voices are saying because they have a purpose!

00:11:56: They want to protect from something and make sure meaning and the relevancy, and importance that it deserves.

00:12:10: So this is not trying to be a hundred percent positive only but It will reduce The effect That this inner voice has on you.

00:12:25: Now You can do This little experiment.

00:12:28: Just go ahead And observe your inner Voice for A day.

00:12:33: So first of all, ask yourself who is speaking and you might be as surprised I was when i found out that im speaking but to others.

00:12:41: Because thats the next question Who Is This Voice Talking To?

00:12:45: Is it talking to You?

00:12:47: Is It Talking Now?

00:12:48: Is Its Talking As Your Future Self or As Your Past Self?

00:12:54: What Is The Tone?

00:12:56: When Im Criticizing Myself my inner voice often uses humor.

00:13:01: What is it that your inner voice is using as their style and tone?

00:13:07: And what is the function, what do you believe is behind this voice.

00:13:14: What are they trying to do and Is this voice helpful or is It actually a hindrance for anything keeping you mentally occupied Trying to distract You.

00:13:31: so once You find that out.

00:13:33: you can change one element and only for example, slow it down or move far away remove the tone to make it even more humorous.

00:13:51: use your name when talking with you.

00:14:00: So when I'm talking to myself, i often say oh Christine that was really smart.

00:14:05: And in a very humorous way.

00:14:08: or if it was really bad...I'd say Oh Miss Chickensherr!

00:14:11: That's the most intelligent thing you've ever done and this turns into something doesn't touch you.

00:14:19: This is important because inner voices make you get emotional.

00:14:27: distancing them and turning them into something more agreeable or humorous takes away the density, this effect that they have on you.

00:14:44: Now isn't it funny that I thought, i was talking to myself because I've read that everywhere.

00:14:49: We're talking to ourselves we have inner voices...we have not only one voice but multiple voices and..I just believed in it!

00:14:56: And I used to work with others using their concept & It worked really

00:15:00: well!!

00:15:00: Then I find out most of the time I'm apparently talking to all of you and your inner voice might be a critic.

00:15:13: I don't know, mine is a teacher.

00:15:14: Mine as a broadcaster.

00:15:16: Yours could be apparent and before you believe what you're telling yourself or just trying to silence it?

00:15:26: ask yourself who's talking to?

00:15:28: And What Is It Trying To

00:15:31: Do?,

00:15:32: What Job Does It Think It Is Doing?.

00:15:35: Because the voice inside your head Not necessarily talking to you and even if it is, It's not necessarily telling you the truth.

00:15:49: So have a go at this!

00:15:52: Listen to yourself.

00:15:54: what are you Telling yourself or What are those voices in your head?

00:16:00: Telling You?

00:16:01: I'm really curious to hear from you.

00:16:03: Bye for now.

00:16:05: This was Leadwell.

00:16:07: Now...What Is The One Thing That Your Taking Away From This Episode?

00:16:11: Please share in the comments below and do share the podcast with your friends & family, but only if you like it!