Ep 107. Presence II. Why Presence Starts in the Body

00:00:00: Last week we talked about Presence and what it costs us when we are not present,

00:00:04: when we are not living in the moment.

00:00:08: When we're busy, when we're moving forward past the exit and

00:00:12: still missing parts of our life.

00:00:15: Today, I want to slow us down and get really clear on what Presence means to me.

00:00:26: There are different definitions of Presence.

00:00:29: There are different concepts.

00:00:30: To me, it's not a concept to me really is being in the current moment, being in the

00:00:38: here and now, being aware of my senses.

00:00:43: Being aware of everything that I perceive.

00:00:48: Not as an idea, not as a thought, but really as a lived physical experience.

00:00:55: So Presence is something you experience and not something

00:01:01: you can think into or read into.

00:01:04: You cannot conceptually understand the idea of Presence

00:01:08: if you have not experienced it.

00:01:12: And many people do that.

00:01:13: Many people read about Presence and the present moment, and they listen to people

00:01:18: like Eckhard Tolle and they think they know what it is, but you really need

00:01:25: to experience it.

00:01:26: And the thing is, it's simple.

00:01:29: It's so simple to get present once you understand how to do it.

00:01:35: But it's hard because it takes practice.

00:01:38: Like everything else, it does take practice.

00:01:42: Like you can strengthen your muscle, you can also strengthen

00:01:47: your ability to get present.

00:01:49: And I know what I'm talking about because

00:01:52: to me that was the hardest thing ever.

00:01:56: I am a person who was a hundred percent in her head, always thinking

00:02:02: about a hundred miles per hour.

00:02:05: And at the beginning, especially when I started the Trust Technique,

00:02:08: because getting present is very particular way of working with

00:02:13: animals in the Trust Technique,

00:02:14: and we have a very specific way of getting there, I always thought.

00:02:20: I even said to others, why should I lower my thinking level?

00:02:25: Why should I stop thinking, me when thinking is what makes me human, when

00:02:32: thinking is what I can do best, probably.

00:02:36: So this is so important that I managed to practice, and I

00:02:45: managed to experience that;

00:02:48: Hey, if I'm good at reducing my thinking levels, if I get good

00:02:52: at switching off my thinking whenever I need to, when I do think

00:03:00: my brain is actually much brighter, my brain is actually much more on, on fire,

00:03:07: because it had this time of relief almost.

00:03:12: It had a pause.

00:03:16: Now, when we look at our being, at the person.

00:03:22: We could say that we have three aspects.

00:03:25: We have body, mind, and soul.

00:03:29: And I always say the soul, I have no idea where it is.

00:03:33: It's everywhere and nowhere, I guess.

00:03:38: It's not anchored in time and space, it is somewhere else, it's in the ether.

00:03:44: So that's not something I can use.

00:03:46: And my mind, my mind is, well, in the past it was never in the present moment.

00:03:52: It was always either in the past or in the future, or I would come

00:03:57: up with different scenarios, what could happen, what had happened.

00:04:02: Or I was at home and I thought about the grocery store where I needed to go.

00:04:08: So my mind - never in the present moment.

00:04:12: However, our body is always there.

00:04:17: It never leaves the present moment.

00:04:21: The body cannot be in yesterday or tomorrow.

00:04:23: I wish, because as you know, I'm turning 60 in two days, so my body

00:04:29: is here and it's 60 years old and it has, my body has experienced every

00:04:35: single day and every single moment I've lived, other than my mind.

00:04:43: The beauty of it is that I can now leverage my body as my anchor.

00:04:51: So whenever I wanna get present, I can focus on my body.

00:04:59: Not because it's better to focus on my body than using my mind.

00:05:03: Don't get me wrong, I still love my mind.

00:05:06: But my body is the more reliable part when it comes to experiencing my

00:05:12: life and living my life here and now.

00:05:15: Because wherever I am, my body's already here.

00:05:18: So if you wanna get present, you need this access point that is already in the now

00:05:26: and this is what your body is for you.

00:05:29: It gives you that access.

00:05:33: And the other great thing is that when you do that, your

00:05:40: body becomes your friend again.

00:05:44: For me, again, I can tell you my own story, when I started doing more

00:05:52: mindfulness exercises like Neurographica, where every now and then we ask

00:06:00: ourselves what are we seeing on paper?

00:06:03: What are we feeling?

00:06:04: What are we thinking about it?

00:06:06: And what are we experiencing in our body?

00:06:10: To me, for full two years that I was really intensely drawing

00:06:16: Neurographica, I was even in the instructors course at that time, I

00:06:21: could not feel anything in my body.

00:06:24: Because as I said before, I was never in the present, I was

00:06:28: never in the present moment.

00:06:30: And then I was listening to others, to other colleagues who were drawing along.

00:06:34: And then when they were asked, but what do you feel?

00:06:37: They say, oh, now my right toe is, tickling, and oh, now

00:06:41: my hand is, is getting warm.

00:06:44: Oh, I feel a heat coming up.

00:06:45: Oh, I feel freezing.

00:06:47: Oh, I have a headache.

00:06:48: And I, I looked at them and I'm like, they're all imagining that,

00:06:55: just to have something to say.

00:06:57: Because I had not a single experience in my body.

00:07:04: And thankfully enough, I continued to work with neuro and, and also

00:07:10: the trust technique because that gave me access to my body and it did

00:07:16: give me access to those sensations.

00:07:20: And I can tell you now when I draw a Neurographica drawing,

00:07:24: I have tons of sensations.

00:07:27: That I'm aware of because I can, because I'm much more in the present.

00:07:33: So your body is there to tell you when something gets too much, when you feel

00:07:40: safe, when you feel unsafe, when you build tension, when the ease returns.

00:07:49: All of this, you can get that from your body, if you are able to listen.

00:07:56: And if you are like me five years ago, then you probably

00:08:03: don't get that wonderful...,

00:08:06: it's almost like a thermometer that is telling you how you feel and how

00:08:14: you are, because the body never lies.

00:08:21: And of course, when you're not present.

00:08:25: And you do not notice these tiny little signals.

00:08:29: There are also early signals.

00:08:32: That's why I went into a burnout, full blown, because I had not

00:08:36: captured those early signals.

00:08:39: I had overridden myself, I just got on my laptop and I continued working and

00:08:47: I did not sense anything because I was switching off my body more or less.

00:08:54: Feels strange to say right now, but that's how I did.

00:08:57: And I, I kept going, I kept going much longer than I would have, had I learned

00:09:05: to listen to my body before that.

00:09:10: So I could not use my body to self-correct my activities.

00:09:16: And I could not use the feedback that my body gave me to adjust

00:09:24: the directions I was going into.

00:09:27: And only when I was completely exhausted, when I was completely

00:09:33: overwhelmed, I stopped.

00:09:36: I had to stop and I had then to learn how to listen to my body.

00:09:43: And today it's wonderful because today I have certain signals

00:09:47: that my body is giving me.

00:09:49: Like I have my eyelid tickling when, when I, I get stressed out.

00:09:54: And today I notice it and I immediately react to it.

00:10:01: So without being aware of your body, stress can escalate

00:10:11: without you noticing it.

00:10:13: Emotions can intensify much faster than if you would sense them in your body.

00:10:21: And decisions can feel much harder, because you don't have

00:10:26: this feedback loop from your body that your body is giving you.

00:10:34: So when you learn, like I have, and that's why I'm so convinced you can't do

00:10:39: that as well, when you learn to listen to your body, you will notice things

00:10:45: earlier, you cannot adjust sooner and you don't need to push through as much.

00:10:51: So it's not about control, it is about information.

00:10:56: My body is an information source and it's a feedback loop for me.

00:11:06: So what we covered is about understanding where the presence lives in our body.

00:11:17: And why thinking alone won't get you there.

00:11:22: And next time we'll look at what happens in the nervous system and

00:11:27: why presence changes, how we think, feel, and how we respond to the

00:11:35: things happening in our lives.

00:11:39: So presence doesn't start in the mind.

00:11:41: Presence starts in our body because the body is already

00:11:47: where our life is happening.

00:11:50: And the question is not whether you have access to Presence.

00:11:53: The question is whether you use it.

00:11:57: You just get aware of it,

00:12:01: and that is something that I encourage you to do over the course of the next week.

00:12:07: Pay more attention to what's happening in your body, every now and then.

00:12:13: Maybe you even wanna set a timer.

00:12:16: Every now and then, slow down and go through your body and just

00:12:24: notice: where do I feel any tension?

00:12:28: Where do I feel any heat, any temperature?

00:12:32: Where do I feel cold?

00:12:34: Is there any tickling?

00:12:35: Is there anything that I notice?

00:12:38: So that you train yourself, so that you practice to listen more.

00:12:46: Enjoy your week and your body and speak to you soon.

00:12:50: Bye for now.